Of Toothworts, Spring Beauties, and Trout Lilies--
Flowers of a Woodland Spring.

Compared to most growing things, many woodland wildflowers appear in May with the suddenness of an explosion. Just a month earlier, the ground showed little color except for the drab-brown leaf litter. The pointed shoots of the trout lily give only a hint of what is to come. And then almost overnight, the forest floor is dotted with jewels of pale amethyst, citrine and diamond-white. These are the ephemerals, wildflowers that grow, flower, and die away before the tree canopy closes in and darkens the forest floor.

The Toothwort*, Dentaria concatenata, is an ephemeral with pale flowers. It has small blossoms of white or pale pink, and when it grows among Spring Beauties, Claytonia caroliniana, another fragile wildflower belonging to the Purslane famly, the two plants are hard to tell apart at first. The toothwort is taller and more upright, and below its cluster of flowers is a whorl of leaves divided into narrow sections with toothed edges. The toothwort is nourished by the food that was stored last year in a slender rhizome underground. Because the crisp little rhizome has a sharp, peppery taste , the plant is also called "pepperroot" and is prized by wild food enthusiasts.

The Trout Lily, or Yellow Adder's Tongue, Erythronium americanum, is another ephemeral that rises from a deep-seated corm, a swollen bulblike form on the base of the stem. The speckled-purplish outside, bright yellow inside, flowers (alluding to the pattern on a brook trout) are actually sepals. The tiny yellow true petals have dark spots near the heart of the flower. Truly a child of spring, the trout lily's mottled green leaves disappear entirely by mid-summer, replaced by others woodland treasures of far different patterns.

*The word "wort" means "plant," the "tooth" part alludes to the white, tooth-like growths on the roots.

The following is a good indicator of how bad it was travelling on the Internet highway in 2006. I usually trash the spam and the slimmy phish that swim up my inbox each day, but this missive is too humorous and on the mark to just simply flush out with the toilet water:

SUMMARY OF MY LAST YEAR ON THE COMPUTER

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing.

Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown?) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Bates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St.Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy gasoline without taking a man along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face ... disfiguring me for life.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise. I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army. Likewise, I no longer shop at Walmart because they have formed a secret alliance with gays and lesbians to sell Same Sex Barbie Twin-Pacs to prepubescent girls.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike.

I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus (or Mrs.Fields) since I now have their recipe .

Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

Thank you too for all the endless advice Andy Rooney and Maxine has given us. I can live a better life now because they've told us how to fix everything.

And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up the $5.00 I found dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg, and finally,

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 2 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician. Have a wonderful day!